I know I love Trump. I am Trumplican. I want to be the political cartoonist he loves the best. I want to get myself out of all obstacles. All things I have ever learned are battling inside for my soul now.
The penny plan. Melt them down. Make penny copper bars. Bury them in the backyard. I dont know how this vision got to me.
I also had two vivid cartoon ideas that were hilarious. But since I didn’t write it down I forgot. I said to myself what if I repeat them out loud I would remember. But I forgot. I am lazy! I been in bed 2 days. I been ignoring everyone. I feel Beat up.. tired. Estranged by my life. It was in the middle of the night. Like visions. I was too tired to get up. Sometimes like I am too tired to even get a glass of water. Then these ideas came to me and they were so funny. I repeated them out loud. I said I hope I dont forget. Then I forgot.
I was watching Trumps speech and sometimes I take his speeches personally. Like if he seems mad. I feel he is mad with me. Its this weird thing I have. I felt like he didn’t like the things I have been writing about lately. Its just in my imagination. I have alot of subplots in my brain. Acting out parts. My mind is not like any other person. People dont know how to handle me. I am very hard to become friends with, yet I long friendship so much.
I saw this shirt that said I do not belong here. I know I do not belong here. I saw it at the mall where I took my daughter ice skating. I feel like that. Being a BUG in Kafka’s reality, its not that great, this bug experience. I dont belong here. I dont belong in the pacific northwest. I just do not.
I say to myself if I can go back to being 14 years old, then life was interesting, I would. Then a voice says what about your kids and I say, they will be ok, in an alternate reality. They will still be alive. Parallel reality. I feel. I just want to go back to being in school. I miss it so much. I just like being in those tartarian buildings solid stone.
I had a very traumatic Friday. The father of my three kids was so mad at me. He dropped me off at a restaurant and threw 100 bucks at me. I stayed there with my kids. He says I am as dumb as a bag of rocks for supporting Trump, we ate while he at in the parking lot.
I guess Trump said to get your measles shots?
When he said GET YOUR MEASLES SHOT Friday, I got into a lot of fights. I defended Trump saying, oh, he was just talking to the masses. Or, he was just saying that …because he is gonna be attacking the pharmaceuticals soon. But then I just fell into.. I DONT BELIEVE TRUMP WOULD SAY THAT.
I was accused of lining up kids to be killed! Someone I loved, yelled at me. Saying I was a killer. how could I defend someone who says to get your kids measles vaccines?? Arguments.
I know Trump is vaccine wise, he has to be. He must have felt pressured or is doing them a favor, or when he appears weak he is strong..He knows it all! But then ..I fell into a depression. Sometimes you have to be dishonest, to get something done..I didnt watch any news. And I am still in shock. Vaccines greatest evil we all face. and our future kids too. I should know right one my best friends won first supreme court case against vaccine company. Its a one world evil. It needs to be vanquished. They want to get into your blood people. Government does. They want laws. They want pig blood and aborted fetus in you. To damn you.
I know Trump never hits from the front. I do. And he appears weak when he is strong on something. So I feel its a move. A chess move. I Trust Trump with everything even though things seem different. Trust me.. He knows how to play.
I feel like someone is mad at me. I have free speech and I am good.
I find if I write, I offend someone. Sometimes when a person is watching me I get a creepy sensation in my limbs. My body knows how to talk with me.
So why should I get upset when others misspeak?
Sometimes I ask god, I imagine him to be the sun, and I ask god something and my body gives me the answer.
Last night in deep sleep, I asked my pineal gland to show me what it does and its like the sky in my brain parted. I asked again and same feeling. It opens something up. I go Hey pineal gland. Show me what you do. And then it does the trick. Its how I spent last night. Talking to myself. I would say Hey body …
I may go back to bed. I am very sad. What I feel is everything in my soul is battling. Contradictory meanings.
Alot of things I do and post, are to include people in the trump movement. Things I know about I talk about, we all add. Addition. Politics is about addition and we all have to pore through knowledge and information and be open minded and stern.
There are alot of outsiders whom we should let in. To the Trump movement. We need numbers. That would mean, having a higher allegiance to Trump than we would any religions cults or books. Ideas. Put those things aside for now.