Link here:
..now when Joe Biden said that line.. it sounded so Fantastical.. I had to illustrate it!
I am going through something. I am reorganizing the way I do things, am figuring out what I want, I am done with being depressed. I need to go on a fasting diet. Only Pure food. And I am about to buy a 4k set of laptop and new graphic tablet. But I have to ask myself. Do I want to do what I have been doing for 6 years? Everyday it is such hard work getting cartoons out. I almost feel like, I have been doing this cartoon posting for so long and getting no where, almost more invisible. I honestly feel only one person sees my cartoons, and likes it, maybe comments, and its been one person for years. I am disappointed in Twitter. I am disappointed in Facebook. And I feel like I am alone in a mall in all the other social medias. I feel alone, wandering maybe chatting with some “regular folk” I just made friends with.
I feel like asking myself..should I be spending the other half of my life doing the same thing ( cartooning, posting it, waiting for something to happen) or am I making a mistake somewhere ..and should I be doing things differently. Am I too open, or not open enough. Am I a bad artist? Do I need a routine planned for my work days? Am I closed? Why is my social life a wasteland of swamp noises? Should I go back to Ballet Class? Adult ballet class is how you feel beautiful in life, how a woman feels pretty. I miss it, Ballet class, I want it back in my life. I feel desires pushing me towards it, attracting.
Why do I write in my blog? Who am I writing to? What difference does it make? Is it a waste of time? Should I do something else? Am I honest? Should I be speaking from my root? I am asking all of these questions. I feel the threads of reality falling. It is hard to watch politics, because it suddenly… looks like.. a tv sitcom show with canned laughter. I feel humiliated, tricked, setup, played with, laughed at, alot when I think of politics. It almost feels, like it is a movie, and the joke is on us, because we took it seriously.
Politics now is like a 1970’s Spanish soap opera show…Yes, another millionth act of something repetitious of a re-run, and I notice the black cat from the Matrix movie. No, reality, is not what it seems! Politics, is looking more, and more, like a constant merry go round that never stops and nothing ever gets solved. ” Where we go one ( the Republicans) we go all ( The Democrats follow)” That is what it means. You cant have one without the …other! Forever, consolidating attention and power, and doing nothing good for REALITY CREATING. Who am I talking to? Why do I do this? Does it help me? Why do I feel I have to share and collect everything? Do I get thanked for that job? It is thankless, why do I continue? Why do I say nice things online to people, when noone speaks to me, besides one person. Why does noone speak to me. Why are all my alerts, and notifications, little prompts to congratulate someone’s work anniversary. I have not had, one paying client on Linkedin in the entire years I been on it. It has not helped me find ONE JOB. Why do I post every day on it? Sharing my drawings, links to nfts, and why do I for YEARS keep commenting on people who never engage me? Is there something better I can do with my time? Is there something better? Can my body show me what that is? I am just saying, it is hella fun, but when you do same things for 6 years and nothing changes, only gets worse. Maybe I NEED TO CHANGE FROM WITHIN. So I am having a relaunch of myself.
Because I know that some things can definitely save a person. I know this. Your whole reality changes, life changes, based on, for example, your diet. Different things happen to you with different diets. Even. If everything you eat is different, your life will suddenly become different. Eating is just an example. If we change something, life and reality changes. If you drastically change somethings, one thing or everything, you do daily, then life changes. Better things happen to you, better people come along, if you do something better for yourself.
I would like endless money, to spend. I would love that. Forever. Money energy that god has granted us with. A MONEY SOURCE. A Connection, a Security. A Years worth of Raw Vegan recipes planned out and executed and recorded with photos and videos! Completely satisfying, never hungry, always a visual and smelling intoxication with beauty. Better Ideas, better energy, better people, pure , clean , fresh, bodies. Blood that is bug free!
Politics is so ugly. I wish it were beautiful. It was when Trump was our leader and was everywhere all the time. We could hear him speak, joke, laugh and see all his victories. But too many fights. It was too much. Politics is so ugly, But with a clearer mind, when I look at something, I can be in tune and get more of my questions answered. Joke will come to my like ideas, regularly non stop, flow of funny cartoon setups in my mind!.. you know it would be nice if we can get the stuff done that we said we were going to do like the wall. It’s going to be beautiful it’s not going to be ugly it’s going to be beautiful. It should look like the Great Wall of China but better.
EVERYDAY
Juice
Smoothie
Salad
Raw Entree
Raw Dessert
I have a million social media accounts I post my cartoons too, for safekeeping. But for what? It is more like I am giving it away. Nothing happens. Noone notices. Maybe my writings are too incendiary. Maybe they are not written for you. Maybe they are written for me, just me and me alone and that is why noone cares. Maybe I should write for ” Others” and maybe entertain what they want to hear, even if it is so stupid like ELON-GATE.
I think I want a victory of some sort. ONE acknowledgment. ONE victory, one little prize. I think the internet has changed, and I am ready to move on to the next new thing, and to focus on getting that job interview. The one who takes a chance on me, because they liked my speech.
WHO AM I SPEAKING TO? Or, where am I speaking FROM? Is the question? What Chakra? Am I talking from the root of me. or the third eye? or from the heart and chest, or am I speaking from the stomach. No. I am speaking from the root. From the earth. Do I speak from my heart? What does that do? My father when he is nervous, stares at someone between the eyes, when he gets nervous. Marilyn Monroe did that on the set of How to Marry a Millionaire. Lauren Bacall said that is how she acts, she doesnt look at your eyes, but your forehead when she speaks her line to you. I am the queen of no eye contact. School photos had to be retaken of me, with the whole class sometimes. I just didnt look at the camera for any of my school photos. I was the real deal “shoegazer”. Maybe I need to look my audience in the eyes more. And not be so separate. Maybe only speak from my root, from the earth. But I can put ” things I think of” in Heaven above, too. And feel more from my heart, at the others around me and treat all of them like they are the most beautiful thing I ever seen.
Since Drudge disappointed us all, I do not even read news headlines anymore. Not like I used to. It feels like Fake News has moved from the TV to the internet now and we need an alternative. Something new. Something that “works”. I feel disillusioned! I want out. I need LIFE to change outside of me. SO I HAVE TO CHANGE INSIDE! And I am getting there.
I want to buy kale, cacao beans and medjool dates. I want to put the cacao bean inside the medjool date after I pit it, and I want to wrap the whole thing up in a strip of kale! I also want to go back to the 80s. I do not know where to call home. I am mad for noone preparing us for Trump not being here like he used to, anymore, Noone prepared us. It is like we been tricked. I feel very upset, I feel, it is traumatic. Like being hurt. It hurt all of us. Noone will understand the pain, unless you have been there, so I cant explain to outsiders, who really do not know what they are talking about . Why cannot Americans have a HAPPY ENDING?
Sometimes I think maybe, he rally has been gone for a long long while, and we are getting a Max Headroom Joe Biden Array of Actors, all acting, nothing is real.. An Actor, mask plus cgi, who brings so much shame upon our world. It is traumatic. It is like demoralization. It may be some weird experiment. It is like there is a hand with a sock puppet and everyone is pretending it is our “President” when everyone knows, it is not, but too afraid to say it..and we make silly jokes to pass the time, but deep down inside it is the most disturbing thing to our psyche what is happening in politics right now. It, is a facade. Are we being played? Are we being lied to? Who thinks it is funny? Are we “winning” or are we “losing”. I think we deserve to know. Maybe Adam Schiff could come back out for the millionth time to start some new thing, some nasty thing. Maybe right before we die 70 years from now, Nancy Pelosi will still be trying to fight off the Evil Reds. Just like she was doing when we were born. Does anything change? Why do I even ask? Or are we the paying -fans in the stadium, enjoying the game, while our house is being robbed, somewhere else?
Is this a STALLED CENTURY, and we are too dumb to figure out -why stars get so many top ten hits- starting when we were born and well on in their 70s? And until we die, they will be TOP TEN. Are they the only ones who can write a good song? When 3020 comes around there will be a new NOVEL-Coronaviruslike pandemic, and another democide by vaccines, they will call it something new though, a better word, maybe Injectoculations.. and we would have forgotten anyways…, and a new WW4 distraction? And New Orphan Trains, just like every hundred years, same thing, for all eternity, there be demons and spirits and four horsemen constantly operating, never stopping? The apocalypse never stops coming, also, and it never really comes anyways. FLOODS, buried lands, hidden lands, ice or green antarctica..and beyond the dome…Like I am on solid ground now. I am in paradise. Why is technology so intriguing and why does it have what we are not endowed with naturally? Like Telepathic skyping. Or why do we need a computer in order to connect to others? I remember a time, when there were people , loads, all over the place. I remember having a LOT of FRIENDS. I used to feel butterflies in my stomach. How many years, ARE WE GOING TO READ THE HEADLINES about the SURGE AT THE BORDER, and until we die, the news headlines will read, ” WAVES OF PEOPLE COMING”. It will never be solved, until they need a distraction, worthy of the wall. ” Expecting a tsunami at the border” just like we read when we were political babies!
I understand if I want to be a GOOD POLITICAL CARTOONIST, everything I do, has to be a WORK OF ART, something anyone would be proud to hang in their OFFICE or even a law office. In Frames. I have to think of it like that. Too. There is no excuse. I can push maybe 4 hours straight on it a day, in bliss.
I have to admit, all of this started with Telegram. It woke me up to alot of things. I never saw before. I got so addicted to it, to this day I can stay awake 24 hours scrolling through it. I have run out of places to share, I been banned almost everywhere, I have run out of places to hide for later. I have run out of space to upload them. It is like the new internet for me.
. ..honestly I love drawing.. I love drawing like introverts love reading …I would read a book but drawing is better… I try not to think too much. and just let my hands doodle ..and other times I think a lot . and try to do everything in order ..properly and by a regular routine ..and an easy method of art technique..all numbered in order. ..
True Capitalists 🦁…(where are you.??)…know..that W.w.2 was really about..🥀 the Communists… do you really think the antifa of the east…the Ukrainian Style Antifa Acab A308 ..will be Wimpy about actually killing people? I just don’t think the show’s over I wish it was cuz it’s so boring. 😕 misanthropic .. people tied in public ..to lamp posts ..with Saran Wrap… people walking by beating them up ..smack them around.. well.. or as Neil in the Young Ones tv show..liked to say..” woah! this is really heavy. ” some days I want to leave the days of the internet alone and just read my books or maybe I can just listen to music.
Do you know that my step sister is my polar opposite? She turned down a $100,000 year job… because she didn’t like the LGBT+ policy they had. And she’s straight.
